Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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