your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
