So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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