You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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