girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize