"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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