Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
