4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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