There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
