do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
