too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
