I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
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