So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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