She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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