TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
