As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
