i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
