She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
