It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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