I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
this must be what syphilis tastes like
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
