if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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