I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
