I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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