at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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