Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Jerry, you need to find god
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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