he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
