i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
