I am puke
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I need moral support for this bender
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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