how can u be prego again
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My bed smells like the plague
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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