My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
