God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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