i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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