ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
