The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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