im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
