I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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