He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
