Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
