So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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