I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
