the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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