I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
