they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
