I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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