Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We are two peas in an std pod
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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