what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
