Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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