I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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