About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Two words: nipple clamps
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