ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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