Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
