Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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