I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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