When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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