I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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