At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
