okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
