What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
