Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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